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Sunday, November 28, 2010

10 minute poor mans lunch





A mans gotta eat and if your hungry, not a chef, and are just looking to fill the hole in your belly, like your friend will fill the hole in your wife if you find yourself deployed or in jail then this is the way to go.


Step one is to fill one of those cheep glad bowls that sell at the market 3 for 2 dollars and change about halfway full of water and put it in the microwave for five minutes. This will get the water nice and hot if not boiling.


While your waiting for it to heat lets drag out our ingredients. We will start with 2 packs of dry Ramen Noodle soup. You know they are cheep, filling, and it won't be the first time you ever ate the bastards.


Grab that bag of chips out of the cabinet.. you know the one, the one that's already open and beginning to go a little stale.


Get the Parmesan cheese out too..... everything is better with parmesan.


Pull out the hot sauce. Notice this is not Tobasco ! Tobasco is way too hot for me, and I have a theory that it's way too hot for most white folks, some just don't want to admit it because they don't want their friends to call them pussies.


OK.... now our water is nice and hot. (I did not heat the water with the lid on.)


Add your soups....


Put the lid on, swoosh it around a little making sure all of the noodles are wet, and then walk away for a few minutes. I think I went and took a healthy poop, or smoked a cigarette, but you can do what you want to.


This photo shows that all of the noodles are wet.. This gives them room to swell, and this will give you a fuller belly.


When they look like this it's time to drain the water and
move on to the next step.


Now it's important to just drain the water right into the sink using your fork as a 
strainer. Don't be a stupid ass and drag out a strainer or any of that other bullshit,
it's important to realize that dirty dishes need to be washed. You don't like washing dishes do you?


Now add both of your flavor packets and stir.


Now add your Parmesan cheese and stir some more.


Add your hot sauce and stir some more. (At this point it's smelling good
and you may want to jump right in. Don't! Take it easy... give the Parmesan cheese
some time to melt into the noodles... were almost there.)


Now it's time to add some crunch. Grab a fist full of those chips and crumble them on the
top of your food. Don't crush them into dust or this will defeat the purpose.. just squeeze them once
and drop them in.




Now stir the final time.. Notice how the Parmesan Cheese doesn't look
like powder anymore? That means it's melted in.
(Do not put this in another bowl.. just grab the fork you used for stirring and straining and use it for eating.)
If you did this correctly you will have a very filling meal and nothing more to wash then one bowl and one fork. The bowl is cheep enough that you can probably just throw it in the trash without your wife yelling at you or anything.

Enjoy!

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